


Jane: Reflect

by mercurialHekate



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, Gen, Not Epilogue Compliant, set around snapchat credits, will update these tags as we move forward
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-18
Updated: 2019-08-13
Packaged: 2020-06-30 13:59:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19854646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mercurialHekate/pseuds/mercurialHekate
Summary: Despite this idyllic life in this universe you were gifted, you find yourself discontent with this life you have been carving out for yourself.Your name is JANE CROCKER and you may have been hitting the GAY SNOOZE BUTTON for FAR TOO LONG.





	1. Jane: Have a flashback

gutsyGumshoe [GG] began pestering  timaeusTestified [TT] at 12:01

GG: D. Strider! I have some choice words to say to you, buster.  
TT: Alright. Just give me a minute to write out my will before I meet my early end at the hands of a pissed off Jane.  
TT: My gravestone will read “Done in by Jane Crocker, and he probably deserved it.”  
TT: I trust Roxy to hold the raddest fuckin’ funeral a dude could wish for. All eulogies must be rapped, as my accolades should only be intermixed with the sickest beats known to man. I entrust Lil Cal with you. May he serve as your shield to Huggy Bear’s sword.  
GG: Hoo hoo! No need to be so melodramatic. I was just pulling your leg. :P  
GG: Although, I do have something to talk to you about.  
TT: What’s up?  
GG: Since it has been Thanksgiving break for me this week, I’ve had time to watch some of your brother’s movies that you sent me.  
GG: Ermm…  
GG: I suppose I should say “movie.” Though, even that feels like an exaggeration of sorts. I think I got through maybe half of it before giving up.  
GG: Dirk, I must simply admit it. That was the most unwatchable movie I have ever decided to sit through.  
GG: I mean, maybe it was just “too ironic” for a girl who prefers a simple pie to the face, but I just can not find any appeal in what I just spent the last 40 minutes attempting to digest.  
TT: If you think I’m upset by this turn of events, I’m not. I promise. If anything I anticipated this. I mean, my bro’s brand of irony isn’t for everyone. It happens.  
TT: Which one did you watch anyway?  
GG: I believe the very first one? I was planning on following the list you provided me when sending the movies to, and I quote, “maximize hella enjoyment.”  
TT: Right.  
TT: It’s the punchiest of the franchise, so I assumed it would be the closest match to your taste in humor. But I guess not.  
TT: Was it the blatant homoerotic tension between our two leads? That’s typically what critics and fans alike attack outside of the general, intentional shitty quality of the films. The early 21st century is filled with such paradoxical attitudes regarding homosexuality. You have directors and actors purposefully amp up the dudebro-eroticisms to make it easier for the audience to see just how close these male characters are.  
TT: However, the moment somebody points out that the relationship between these men in this mostly male cast can be interpreted as romantic, someone somewhere stirs up a shitstorm that can’t be ignored. Companies who provided these films’ budgets then must vehemently deny that anything other than platonic is occurring.  
TT: Will you be caught in the shitstorm, Jane?  
GG: No!!  
GG: Ehem,  
GG: It’s nothing of a sort! I simply just did not enjoy watching the movie. It is just a matter of different tastes.  
GG: However, I see what you mean regarding current treatment of homosexuals in media. I can assure you that such a lifestyle does not bother me nor is that the reason I did not enjoy the movie.  
TT: Alright.  
GG: I’m curious, though. How “ironic” was that little speech? It’s a tad difficult to gauge your sincerity when discussing certain topics. This easily fits into the top 3 of such topics.  
TT: I’m gonna have to ask for that list.  
GG: :B  
TT: Anyway, I believe you already have your answer. The inability to determine how ironic a statement is creates an additional layer of irony. Such ambiguity in one’s judgement must be factored in when attempting to decipher every layer. Determining what is ironic and what is genuine.  
GG: Now I just feel like a victim of an elaborate prank that only you understand.  
GG: Wait...  
GG: Is this also part of the tapestry of irony that you weave with every character you type?  
TT: I'm glad you're beginning to understand just how deep this shit can go but try not to overthink it too much.  
TT: Sometimes all you need to do is make a few statements about homoeroticism and you'll be successful.  
GG: Hmm. How insightful.  
GG: Dirk, I'd hate to be so blunt but…  
GG: Would you happen to be a homosexual?  
TT: Jane.  
GG: Yes?  
TT: To ask such a loaded question in the most antediluvian manner you could’ve possibly chosen indicates to me that, should we indulge this conversation any further, we wouldn’t be speaking on the same wavelength.  
GG: Oh geez.  
GG: I fail to truly see where I mishandled this, but I do not want to upset you even more so than I may have, so I will drop this if you wish.  
TT: You didn’t upset me, Jane.  
TT: We can approach this topic on a later date. But if you wanna know, I prefer not to put a label on such things.

Jane: Snap out of flashback and return to the present

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God Jane<>Dirk is just so good, they're best friends!! But yeah this is my first time writing fanfic so I hope this has been a cute lil intro of sorts :3c. My Twitter is the same @mercurialHekate


	2. Jane: Snap out of flashback and return to the present

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Most of this fic will be set c. the snapchat credits btw

It dawns on you that you have been zoned out for what appears to be quite some time. How embarrassing.

Your name is JANE CROCKER. You are 18 YEARS OLD, soon to be 19 LATER THIS MONTH. 

You are currently engaging in some AMATEUR BOTANY, a hobby that you've recently picked back up thanks to the help of your ECTOBIOLOGICAL DAUGHTER-MOTHER and the revelation that ONE OF YOUR CHUMS had been the vegetable thief from all those years ago.

Jane: Examine your horticultural handiwork

The garden behind your house is already beginning to flourish. Vibrant green fills your vision as your eyes sweep the vicinity.

Your dad did always say that you had quite the green thumb. It doesn't hurt that you are also a FULLY REALIZED MAID OF LIFE now. Lucky you.

Jane: Contemplate your spontaneous daydream

It was rather odd, wasn't it? You had been thinking about something that's bugging you, but you aren't sure where this memory fits into all this. Or, maybe you do?

That conversation occurred when you and your friends were 14. You'd decided that, to counter Strider's hilarious "Detective Pony" gift, you were going to take one of Dirk's Bro's movies and then deface and parody it in a similar manner to Dirk's book. Maybe enlist Roxy to help edit. However, you quickly realized that the franchise could not possibly be vandalized. It disfigured itself plenty enough already.

After that though…the conversation delved into a rather surprising twist. You mean, you suppose you weren't too surprised even back then. But, still. That was the first time the concept of homosexuality was even introduced into your personal periphery.

Jane: Connect the memory to your current problems

What are you talking about?! There’s no way those two are related. It was merely a surprise trip down memory lane. Nothing more, nothing less.

...Okay fine. ALRIGHT. Might as well do some introspection. Some SELF-PSYCHO-ANALYIS. A couple of your pals tend to dig into you about that. According to them, it’s difficult for you to engage in proper introspection.

Jane: Engage in some proper introspection

You can deduce that this has something to do more with the second portion of the conversation. Something about homosexuality?

Actually, that makes sense, you guess. Your most recent problems have been more of the romantic kind. You see all of your pals and fellow gods entering and participating in not-so-heterosexual relationships. Well, mostly. John seems to be in the same boat as you, but recently he’s been acting odd. More odd than usual, you mean. Maybe you should discuss the two of you being the TOKEN STRAIGHTS in your cast of crazy characters.

Ironic that you would be the odd one out for being heterosexual.

Weird.

Jane: Get back on track

Oh, right. Homosexual relationships and gardening. You move onto the next bed of flowers and water them the necessary levels. It seems as if everyone in a relationship is...fulfilled by them in some way? Not necessarily in the “perfect match” effortless way, but more in the “we worked our asses off to make this work as well as it does because we like each other that much” kind of way. 

It leaves you feeling a certain sort of way.

Jane: Stop and smell the roses

YELLOW ROSES to be exact. They were a gift from Jade about a month ago. You thought it a bit odd but didn’t think to dwell on it too much. Jade is much too kind for her own good, so this wasn’t too out of leftfield.

However, they began to bloom around the beginning of April. You immediately realized that this had been Jade’s attempt at an April Fool’s prank. Not only did she genetically modify them to mature faster, but the pheromones they produced created a smell reminiscent to shaving cream.

It now sits in your top three favorite pranks of all time.

Jane: Finish watering the garden

The roses were your last stop. You quickly gather your belongings before heading indoors. There’s closest space near the kitchen backdoor dedicated to holding your gardening supplies.

You bound to your room upstairs, eager to remove your sweaty work clothes and retire for the rest of the day. You don’t often get time to lounge around these days, so times like this are precious to you.

Jane: Flash forward about an hour

Refreshed and ready for rest, you check your phone and see one of your best friends is attempting to contact you. You wander what she wants.

Jane: Answer the phone

ROXY: hey janey u doin anything  
JANE: Nothing at this particular moment.  
JANE: Should I begin to freshen up now in response to your imminent invitation for a soirée later this evening?  
ROXY: lol ya callie wanted to try sum new dessert place over @ the human kingdom  
ROXY: figured y not like make it into a whole thing n if u wanted to join thatd b p dope  
ROXY: ya know have dinner at a nice restaurant dressin up lookin foxy af like DAMN  
ROXY: afterwards we hit up that new place cuz callie fuckin loves sweets its hella adorable like dude u dont even know  
ROXY: n finally we can have like a selfcare nite got like facemasks ice cream n a shit ton of b list movies  
ROXY: i had no idea just how deep into the shitty romcom well karkat n dave went but like damn did they supply  
JANE: Hoo hoo hoo!! That sounds absolutely fantastic. I’d love to be apart of this fun night.  
ROXY: hellll ya  
ROXY: meet us @ 5  
ROXY: cya jane!! <3  
JANE: See you then. <3

Jane: Check the time

It’s only a little after three, now. You already showered, so you still have some time to kill.

Gosh, Roxy is so sweet. So is Callie. The two of them are so good. And…so good for each other? You’re like 98% sure they’re a thing romantically. Okay, they’re definitely 100% a romantic couple. You can’t continue to deny the way they hold hands and linger their eyes on each other as anything other than romantic. It’s just weird you guess? Not weird in a bad way, just…

Well, you feel odd when you begin to ponder it too long.

Jane: Stop pondering relationship statuses and start getting ready


	3. Jane: Stop pondering relationship statuses and start getting ready

But you’ve already finished? It’s almost time to meet up with Roxy and Calliope now!

Jane: Stop owning the awful narrative transition and meet up with your friends

Roxy waves excitedly from across the street to grab your attention.

ROXY: hi jane!!!

You barely have any time before you feel the wind forced out of your lungs from the pressure of Roxy’s patented “super epic gal pal hug o’ death.”

Jane: Participate in the Super Epic Gal Pal Hug O’ Death

Almost on instinct, you and Roxy both pull Calliope into the SEGPHOD whilst further tightening each other’s hold on one another.

It leaves you feeling warm. Not just from the physical proximity, either. You feel a comforting warmth spread through your chest the longer the three of you stay in this position. There’s a sense of safety and love that you have a hard time finding parallels to. The closest you can think of are you dad’s legendary hugs of fatherly affection, but it’s also too different to consider it such a tenderly familial interaction. Maybe it’s the look in Roxy’s eyes that you can’t quite place, or how Calliope’s smile seems even brighter than what it was just moments prior.

Oh gosh. You really love your friends.

Jane: Check them out

YOU MEAN LOOK AT THEIR OUTFITS. Yes, their cute and lovely outfits like the lovely ladies they are. These are your lovely friends who are dressed to the nines much like yourself.  


Calliope is wearing a more ornate version of her typical suit. It’s still its base green, but the red bowtie and cufflinks have been replaced with white and black “space” themed accessories. The bowtie had a black base with white lining it. The cufflinks themselves were in the shape of the Space symbol. Even the usual coattail of her suit held more flare in their shape yet maintained a trademarked subtlety. You suppose that’s merely the influence of the person, as Calliope had a penchant for hiding from the spotlight. Calliope could wear the gaudiest outfit and she could still find a way to be a wallflower.  


You suppose Roxy is the same, in a way. Her Void-y powers lend themselves to keeping her in the shadows. But… you guess the key difference here is that Roxy can flip the switch when she chooses and likes the attention (when she wants it). Calliope has never wanted to be in the spotlight. Well, that’s the impression you gather from her. She maintains the role of observer, and seems to enjoy the documentation of everyone’s exploits since you all arrived on Earth C.

Speaking of Roxy, her attire this evening somewhat surprises you. Typically, she’ll adorn a dress, sitting on the opposite side of the spectrum from Calliope’s aesthetic. You usually sit in the middle, with your dress shirt and skirt, topped with a business suit jacket and the clickiest heels ever to really solidify the CEO energy you want. A real "power move", as Dirk and Roxy have said.

However, tonight it appears that Roxy has decided to follow in Calliope’s lead and wear a spiffy looking pink suit. It’s bright and gaudy but not in a distasteful way. How does Roxy manage to pull off what would be the worst outfit on anyone else?

CALLIOPE: oh darling yoU look so adorable! ^u^  
JANE: Hoo hoo hoo! Thank you, Callie!  
JANE: Though, I must admit, I feel like a fish out of water. :B  
JANE: Did I miss some sort of suit-only memo?  
ROXY: nah dont sweat it ur good  
ROXY: just felt like switchin shit up ya feel?  
ROXY: like im cute af in a dress its p obvs  
ROXY: n talkin w callie about sum stuff gave me the idea that like i should try out some new ways to look like a dreamboat  
ROXY: so here i am in the fuckin swankiest suit i could alchemize  
ROXY: shit took forever! like dude this suit is like the 70th attempt??  
ROXY: like i still have a couple of suits i saved but like i had to chuck out most of em :(  
JANE: Oh dear. Was there something so wrong with them that they couldn't be salvaged?  
JANE: Also…  
JANE: Couldn't you have asked Kanaya? I'm sure she'd love to tailor a suit that screamed “Roxy”.  
ROXY: ya uh  
ROXY: ok theres like a couple things i dont wanna get into rn  
ROXY: but basically this was something that i had to do for me by me  
ROXY: its me me me bb n i just couldnt ask someone else  
ROXY: least not this time

You watch Roxy ramble for a couple more minutes. She immediately began to ramble the moment you inquired about the suits, which must've caused her nerves to take over, for whatever reason.

You want to keep pestering her to fess up about whatever's bothering her, but by the way she continues to talk in circles to avoid discussing the heart of this wardrobe crisis, you decide to drop it. For now.

ROXY: ya feel?

Oh fuck, what did she say?

JANE: Of course!

That seemed to pacify the garrulous Roxy. She smiles wide, her dimples are broadcasted to the world. You like that look on Roxy. You hope she never loses that gorgeous smile.

Jane: Have dinner with you BFFs

Dinner itself is something rather uneventful. The suit-talk is left outside. Most of dinner is spent either eating in pleasant silence or discussing the most mundane topics.

You find it equally humorous and gross that Calliope eats her meat essentially raw. You are also reminded that Roxy has taken to a pescetarian diet with her choice of a Greek salmon salad. Er, you mean just a salmon salad.

You keep forgetting this isn't really Earth.

ROXY: jane u good?  
JANE: Hm? Oh, yes I am.  
ROXY: u sure??  
ROXY: ur makin a face like u stepped in shit  
ROXY: n that shits like ur arch enemy that murdered ur cat  
JANE: Could you not do that while we're eating?  
ROXY: sorry b but im tellin the gospel truth here bro idk if theres any other way u could describe the face u were makin  
JANE: :(  
CALLIOPE: are yoU qUite alright dear? thoUgh roxy's description was a tad too vUlgar, i'm in agreement to its accuracy. U~U  
JANE: :B  
JANE: Oh geez. I apologize for stirring such concern from the two of you, but I can assure you that I’m fine!  
ROXY: u sure?  
JANE: I’m quite positive.  
ROXY: mmm k  
WAITER: Would you ladies like dessert this evening?

Oh, thank God.

CALLIOPE: oh no thank yoU! we appreciate the offer, thoUgh.  
WAITER: Of course.

He doesn’t leave a check. Which, part of you is still weirded out by, you suppose. Being gods has perks like not paying for food, but it merely serves as another reminder to you right now that this is, in fact, not your earth.

Jane: Go to that swanky new dessert place around the corner

It’s alright, you guess. You typically enjoy a good mom 'n pop confectionery shop, but you just keep digging yourself into a Mood.

Yes, capitalized. Mood.

Not that you wanna talk about it. What's there to even really talk about? People sometimes get into Moods and they aren't inherently linked to anything serious.  
Nothing. At. All.

Jane: Skip to the part where you’re at the Roxy-Callie abode

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can't guarantee any regular updates, more and longer hiatuses will occur, especially once I begin university. Sorry in advance


End file.
